May 5th, 2009
by Amy Dunn
At every social event there is always that awkward strange person lurking around who you never know quite what to say to or how to converse with them. No matter what you try, the conversation is bound to make you uncomfortable. So you try to avoid them like the plague. Whether it is a work related function, a relative’s Christmas party, or a friend’s wedding- there is always going to be that one socially awkward person you dread getting stuck with.
You smile and you make excuses- you do whatever you need to do to avoid getting roped into a long winded and pointless conversation with them. Sometimes it is unavoidable- you send subtle signals to your friends or spouse that scream “get me out of here, save me!”. You wonder how that person could be so clueless and lack such self awareness.
The same holds true in social media networks. These networks are FILLED with socially awkward people that repel any sort of meaningful conversation or exchange. If you think that every party needs the socially awkward weirdo that people feel sorry for, here are some ways to ensure that you clearly identify yourself as “That Creepy Guy” or “That Weird Chick”.
1. Make no effort to bring value to your friends in social media networks.
2. Tag yourself in questionable photos from college parties that will make people who view it feel uncomfortable.
3. Without warning, tag your friends and coworkers in questionable photos from last year’s Christmas Party.
4. Use tons of 4 letter words and inappropriate slang in updates and discussions.
5. Join groups in Facebook, but do not try to add value to any discussions or network. Just post links to your site and tell people to click on it.
6. Make sure all of your updates in Facebook and Twitter are typed in all caps and announce “sales” and only have links to your web page.
7. Do not keep a blog or make any attempt to contribute your perspective to your industry.
8. #Use #lots #of #hashtags #that #do #not #make #sense #to #any1 #but #u #in #every #single #update
9. Brag constantly about yourself and your company.
10. Do not converse or respond or reply to anyone that approaches you in social media networks.
11. Assume people use social media only because they want to hear about your product.
12. Copy someone’s material word for word from another blog or article and pass it off as your own, they will never figure it out!
13. Post nothing but vague and strange quotes and inside jokes in all of your updates.
14. Act as if you know more about everything to everybody in your network.
15. Send the same direct message over and over again to the same people “Hey- Great to know you. Check me out at www.whocares.com”
16. Send your Facebook buddies every single quiz invitation that exists.
17. If you must keep a blog, never read or comment about anyone else’s blog posts. Your blog is the only one that matters.
18. Post comments in other peoples blogs directing them to your Website- especially if the post has nothing to do with your service.
19. Use social media sites to vent your anger and announce how you really feel about your boss and coworkers. They will never know.
20. Chastise and make someone feel stupid for commenting to you or asking a question. How dare they!
Photo from supersecretsociety.wordpress.com/
Web Marketing Therapy Related Links:
- Dear Web 2.0 Fear Specialist- What to Do About Pesky Social Media “Friends”
- Should Press Releases Be Shared on Social Media Platforms?
- Social Media Tips for Non-Profits and Small Businesses
- Streamline your Social Media Marketing – Get Hellotxt
Amy Dunn
(May 7th, 2009 at 9:07 am)
Hey- I got another tip to add about how to be socially awkward in a social media world!
21. Do a poor job proof reading your blog posts- especially the titles! Make sure there are glaring typos.
(hey, you have to make fun of yourself from time to time!)
Hope to hear more tips- I know there are more out there.
Amy Dunn
(May 31st, 2009 at 1:11 pm)
LOL – What are the odds of two Amy Dunn’s posting back-to-back?
Great blog entry! The one that gets me every time is the “your” vs. “you’re” mistake–especially if it’s constant.
Web Marketing Therapy » Blog Archive » Dear Web 2.0 Fear Specialist- What to Do About Pesky Social Media “Friends”
(June 23rd, 2009 at 11:55 am)
[...] Mother in Law is suffering from a bit of loneliness which is causing her to behave in a slightly socially awkward manner. But she is not alone. To the surprise of many marketers, one of the top growing demographics [...]
Cynthia
(July 16th, 2009 at 3:49 pm)
Here’s another suggestion for this list:
In discussion boards and Q&A sites like Yahoo Answers, harass, ridicule or insult everyone who has a different opinion or volunteers any credible data, fact or source that proves you wrong. And by all means, treat the askers or the thread starters as if they were worthless drones.